


Unpopular

by my_mad_fatuation



Series: Loner [4]
Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 11:33:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11988951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_mad_fatuation/pseuds/my_mad_fatuation
Summary: Finn leaves for uni in a different country and Rae has to contend with the new girl at school.





	Unpopular

Rae looked over at the suitcases in the corner of Finn’s bedroom and sighed.

“What?” Finn asked, zipping up the last one.

“I just can’t believe you’re leaving tomorrow,” she said as she held out her hands towards him.

He walked over and sat down on the bed beside her so that she could hug him. “I know,” he said.

“It’s bad enough you have to leave for uni,” she added when she let go of him, “but why did you pick _Amsterdam_?”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” he said. “I’ve always wanted to go.”

“It’s just so far away; I won’t see you again for weeks.”

“We’ll talk every day, though.”

“But I’ll miss this, you know?” she said, nudging him with her shoulder. “Being together.”

“I don’t leave until morning,” he pointed out. “We can be together until then.”

She smiled a little. “Are you asking me to stay the night?”

“Maybe…”

“Finn Nelson, why, I never!”

“Shut up,” he said with a chuckle.

“I mean it, this is highly inappropriate,” she continued, pretending to be shocked. “What will people think?”

“They’ll probably think I’m not an eighteen-year-old virgin,” he replied. “Joke’s on them.”

She laughed and he held onto her hand.

“Thank you,” he added, looking down at their entwined fingers.

“For what?”

“Your patience with me these last ten months.”

She furrowed her brow but smiled anyway. “You’re welcome?”

He picked up her hand and kissed the back of it. “I love you so much, you have no idea.”

“I think I have some idea,” she said, but he shook his head.

“More than that,” he said. He scooted himself to the middle of the bed and stretched out onto his side, patting the space next to him. “C’m’ere.”

“Oh, Finn, you filthy beast,” she said jokingly when she settled in beside him.

“You love it,” he teased, holding onto the side of her waist as he leaned over her.

“How dare you,” she added after he kissed her, and then pulled him in for another.

He allowed his hand to roam further than he usually did, all the way up her back until he could feel the edge of her bra through her shirt. He knew he wasn’t going to get a chance to do this up for a while once he was gone, and he figured he ought to try it while he still could. He traced his fingertips over the clasp and she sat up quickly.

“Hold on,” she said, reaching behind her back. A second later she was pulling off her bra straps through her sleeves.

He watched as she sent the garment flying onto the floor before resuming her posture below him. His hand hovered over her slightly as she kissed him again. He wasn’t quite sure where to place it until she grabbed it and set it down firmly on her ample bosom. It gave Rae a bit of a thrill—it had been so long since she’d been touched like that.

It gave Finn a bit of a thrill, too, like he was doing something wrong, but it felt good. Chasing that feeling, he slipped his hand all the way up under her shirt, causing her to sigh happily at the skin on skin contact.

She pushed her leg up against him, trying to get her body as close to his as possible. She felt something familiar on her thigh as she moved it, but he didn’t stop her right away, like he usually did when things escalated like that.

He tried to quash the part of his brain telling him to run away at this point, and instead focused on what was enjoyable about it. Of course, he had the twin choruses of, “You’re gonna suck at this,” and “You can’t go to university a virgin,” playing in his head to contend with.

_She wants this_ , he thought to himself. She wanted him. She loved him, and that was more important than any potential feelings of inadequacy, right?

When he pulled away from her, Rae figured that he’d reached his threshold of comfort and wanted to stop, but instead he rolled back and started to unfasten his jeans.

“Finn…? Are you sure…?”

He looked at her and nodded, and she began opening hers as well when she understood what he meant. They each wrestled them off and then stared at the ceiling, lying side by side.

“So, how do we…?” Finn finally asked.

“I can… get on top, if you want,” she suggested.

“Yeah…” He was afraid he’d only mess things up if it were the other way around.

She climbed on top of him, holding her hair over one shoulder as she sat up on her knees so she could lean forward and kiss him without it falling in his face.

When she lowered herself onto him, he could hardly believe what was happening. There were only two thin layers of material separating him from the soft warmth between her legs. The thought made his palms sweat again.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” she said quietly, looking him directly in the eye to reassure him that she wasn’t running off. She climbed off the bed and went over to her knapsack by the foot of the dresser.

“Okay…” he said, mildly confused for a moment.

Rae was just glad that she never remembered to clear out her bag, so she still had condoms in there from the last time she’d needed them. (She was sure to check the expiration date first.)

“Here,” she said when she returned to him, handing one over.

“I… don’t know how to…”

“That’s okay, I’ll do it.”

He rolled his head back and covered his face with his arms when she started to pull down the waistband of his boxer shorts; he couldn’t watch. All he could think was how he already felt like he was letting her down by being completely useless.

“Um, Finn,” she added gently. “I don’t think this is going to work.”

He lifted his arms so he could look down and see what she was talking about. “Fuck,” he grumbled, and pulled up his shorts quickly.

“Do you want me to help?” she offered as he sat up.

“No,” he said, hugging his knees into his chest the way he did when he was extremely uncomfortable.

“Maybe if you give it a minute—”

“I think I just want to be alone right now.”

“But it’s your last night here,” she said.

“Yeah, and I already have the stress of going to school in a new country to deal with, I don’t need this on top of it,” he snapped.

“Fine,” she replied, somewhat offended by his tone.

She pulled on her jeans and found her bra on the floor, which she shoved into her bag.

“Call me when you get there,” she added curtly, pulling on her sweater to cover her unsupported chest and grabbing her knapsack before leaving.

***

Finn didn’t want to wait until he got to Amsterdam, though, and called Rae before catching the train the next morning to apologize for his attitude the night before. She forgave him immediately, and felt stupid for getting so angry with him in the first place. She understood that it must have been frustrating when one’s body and mind weren’t always in sync.

“I promise I’ll make it up to you,” he said to her. “We can talk all night tonight once I’m in my new residence.”

“Won’t your roommate mind you talking all night?” she asked.

“He doesn’t get in until tomorrow, apparently.”

“Okay.” She smiled into the phone. “We’ll talk tonight.”

***

Rae was actually looking forward to going back to school and seeing all the people she’d missed over the summer, as she had spent nearly all her free time with Finn.

Of course, not all her friends would be returning this year. Archie also left for uni, as did Stacey—though their friendship was always strained at best. But Izzy would be there, and Chloe, whom she usually tolerated.

“Excuse me.”

Rae turned around to see some girls she didn’t recognize standing around her like they were waiting for something. “Yes?”

“You’re in the way,” said the apparent leader of the pack.

“Of what?” Rae asked, looking at all the empty space around her.

“Of everything, manatee,” the girl said, and her friends started snickering.

“Do you even know who I am?”

“No.”

“Does the name Rae Earl mean anything to you?” said Rae as she towered over the new girls.

“Is he a jazz musician or something?” The girl smirked like she knew very well that it was Rae’s name, but just wanted to bother her.

Rae didn’t have time to deal with such people, however, so she turned and walked away.

“See you later, manatee,” the girl called after her.

***

“That’s Bex,” said Chloe at lunchtime. The leader of the new girls was standing and talking to some of the football lads several yards away from where Rae and her friends were sitting. “She was apparently top of the ladder at her last school.”

“Bex?” Rae asked with a derisive laugh. “What kind of name is that?”

“I think it’s short for Rebecca,” said Izzy, though she seemed to realize that Rae didn’t really care about that soon after she said it.

“She can’t just waltz in here like she owns the place,” Rae continued. “This is _my_ school, doesn’t she know that?”

“I’m sure she’ll learn it soon enough,” said Chloe.

“She’d better.”

***

“That’s awful!” said Finn over the phone when Rae told him about her encounter with Bex that morning. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

“Ugh, whatever,” Rae said, tucking her legs up onto her bed so she could lean against the headboard. “Let’s talk about something else. How was your trip?”

“Long,” he said. He flopped down onto his new bed and nestled the back of his head into the pillow, trying to get comfortable.

“I’m guessing you won’t be doing that every weekend, then.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she said with an exaggerated sigh. “I’ll just get bored of never seeing you and move on to someone else; no biggie.”

“You’ll hardly even notice that I’m gone,” he said. “We can video chat while we each sit in our respective rooms, reading silently. It’ll be just like always.”

“Not exactly the same, though.”

“How is it different?”

“I won’t be able to just reach out and touch your hair while you’re reading,” she said.

“You know I hate that.”

“I know, but I still like doing it.” She laughed. “Plus, you know, there’s other stuff I’m going to miss, if you catch my drift.”

“Now who’s being inappropriate?” he teased. “Besides, you’d be just as sexually frustrated if I were still there, admit it.”

“I dunno,” she said, tracing squiggles in the top of her duvet with her free hand. “It seemed like you were getting ready for more.”

“Except for some technical difficulties.” He tried to pass it off like he was willing to make jokes about it, but immediately realized that he was not.

“You were nervous. It’s understandable.”

“I’d rather just forget about the whole evening,” he said, frowning as he looked at some unidentifiable stains on the ceiling. They looked like someone had been startled while holding a cup of coffee and splattered the ceiling, but he assumed it was probably water damage.

“There’s some stuff about last night I don’t want to forget,” she said. “And I probably won’t any time soon.”

He closed his eyes to stop himself from obsessing about the ceiling. “Like what?” he asked.

She tried to suppress a smile, even though he couldn’t see her. “You know…” she said. “Like when you were… touching me. I liked that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Did you like it?”

“Yeah…”

“How about when I was on top of you?” she continued.

“Mhm.”

“I was so wet,” she added.

His throat felt dry all of a sudden so he swallowed. “Really?” he said hoarsely.

“I wish we could go back to that moment,” she whispered, lying down on her side. “When you were hard against me.”

He had to switch the phone between his hands because his palm was getting too sweaty to hold it. “Yeah, me too…”

“We’ll get there again. Next time you’re home.”

“Yeah…”

***

Finn was sitting at the top of his new bed, wedged into the corner of the wall and reading when his roommate arrived. It was a little surprising to him when the door opened, as he’d lost track of time.

“Oh, hey,” his roommate said when he saw Finn sitting there.

“Hey,” Finn replied uncertainly.

“I’m Spencer,” the other guy said with a nod, his arms too full to shake hands, much to Finn’s relief. “You must be Finn.”

Finn nodded. “Do you, um, need help with stuff?”

“Thanks, but my friend’s got the rest of it,” said Spencer, holding the door open. “Here she is now,” he added as a girl walked in rolling a large suitcase.

“What did you pack in here, Spencer?” she asked when she set the bag next to his bed with a huff.

“Pure osmium,” he said. “The densest substance on Earth.”

“Good, because you wouldn’t want to run out of that,” she replied sarcastically. “Anyway, introduce me to your roommate.”

“Right, sorry. Where are my Canadian manners?” he laughed. “Amélie, this is Finn; Finn, this is Amélie.”

“Like the movie?” Finn said.

“Yes,” she said, forcing a polite smile like she’d heard that too many times.

“She’s from France,” said Spencer, as though this weren’t obvious from her accent.

Finn nodded in acknowledgement. Even though he was living in the international student residence, he still wasn’t quite expecting… this.

“Have you eaten lunch?” Spencer asked him as he dropped his bags onto the bed.

“No…”

“Do you want to come with us?”

“No, thanks, I’m fine.”

“This is your first year, right?” he continued. “We can show you all the good places, if you want.”

“Maybe some other time,” Finn said, returning his attention to his book.

He could tell Spencer and his girlfriend were still looking at him, like they were waiting for him to change his mind.

“Okay,” Spencer finally said. “See you later, then.”

***

“Nous devrions l’inviter aussi,” Finn heard his roommate mutter over the phone. “Oui, mais je ne croix pas qu’il ait des amis,” he added, casting a glance over at Finn.

“I have friends,” said Finn without setting down his book. “And I understand French.”

“Sorry, I just meant I don’t see you go out at all,” Spencer said to him.

“My friends aren’t _here_ , but I have friends.”

“Right, of course.”

“And I don’t appreciate you talking about me with your girlfriend,” Finn said irritably.

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Spencer laughed a bit. “She’s the Grace to my Will, if you know what I mean.”

Finn shook his head in confusion.

“I’m her gay best friend who she’s madly in love with,” said Spencer. “Yes, you are,” he added into the phone. He returned his attention to Finn. “She says she’s not in love with me, but I know she’s lying.”

“Okay,” Finn said, looking back down at his book.

“I’ll meet you there in ten,” Spencer said into the phone. He stood up to put his phone back in his pocket and looked at Finn. “You coming?” he asked him.

“Where?”

“We’re going to get stroopwafels!”

“Get what?” said Finn, finally putting his book aside.

“Stroopwafels,” Spencer repeated. “They’re these syrup-filled waffle cookie things that are really good and I’ve been waiting months to have one again. Come on.”

“Maybe some other time,” said Finn.

“That’s what you said before,” said Spencer. “Some other time is now. Get your shoes on, let’s go.”

Finn wanted to argue with him, but Spencer was already tossing Finn’s shoes towards the end of his bed. It didn’t seem like he was going to let up.

“Okay,” Finn grumbled. “Let’s get sturpwoofles or whatever.”

***

“How’s it going, manatee?”

Rae chose to ignore Bex’s taunting and continued walking. When she approached her usual table outside, however, she noticed a bunch of girls were already sitting there.

“Excuse me,” she said to them. “Sorry, but this is where my friends and I sit.”

“Sh—She said we could sit here!” one girl said timidly, pointing at someone behind Rae.

Rae rolled her eyes before turning to face the person she knew must have been standing there. “Are you following me?” she said to Bex.

“You just happened to be heading to the table where all my friends are sitting,” Bex replied innocently.

“This is my table,” said Rae.

“Your table? I don’t believe you own it. Besides,” Bex continued, “the table could probably use a break from supporting you, manatee.”

“You keep calling me that as if it hurts my feelings,” Rae said. “I get it; I’m fat. Literally nobody cares.”

Bex scowled, and Rae knew she was winning.

“What’s going on?” Chloe asked when she and Izzy arrived at the gathering around the table.

“She told us we can’t sit here,” Bex said, pointing at Rae.

“I never said you couldn’t sit here!” said Rae. “I just said it was my table!”

“There are other tables,” said Izzy.

“Exactly, so why don’t—” Rae began before Izzy cut her off.

“No, I meant we can go somewhere else if they really want to sit here,” she said. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Rae wanted to argue with her, but felt like she was outnumbered and there would be no point.

“Okay, fine,” she grumbled. “Let’s sit over there.”

***

“I’m sorry that girl is still giving you trouble,” Finn said to Rae over the phone.

“I just want to ignore her and forget she exists,” she replied. “But she keeps showing up wherever I am. It’s like she’s stalking me.”

“Maybe she likes you,” he said.

“Very funny.”

“No, I mean it, maybe she wants to be your friend but she doesn’t know how to do it. You can be a little intimidating to people before they get to know you.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“I’m not saying people _should_ be intimidated by you, just that they tend to be.”

“Hey, I’m lovable and cool.”

“Maybe you should try and befriend her, then,” he suggested. “Maybe you can be like her mentor, keep her from becoming another Stacey.”

“It might be too late for that.”

“If nothing else,” he added, “having her on your side would make things easier, right?”

“I suppose you’re right,” she agreed with a sigh. “How’re things going with you, by the way? How’re your classes?”

“Good, I like them so far,” he said. “Lots of reading.”

“And your roommate, do you get along with him?”

“For the most part. He keeps trying to get me to participate in stuff, which you know is not really my thing.”

“I know,” Rae said with a laugh.

“Yeah, well, he and his friend are dragging me to karaoke tonight,” he said.

“That doesn’t really sound like your cup of tea.”

“It’s not, but I’m trying to make an effort, I guess.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“Yeah, I mean, they’re pretty cool people,” he continued. “Not like the people at our school. Maybe because they’re a couple years older.”

“Are you saying they’re cooler than me?” she asked jokingly.

He smiled and leaned back against the wall at the head of the bed. “Nobody’s cooler than you.”

The door opened suddenly as Spencer and Amélie walked in and headed straight for his side of the room.

“I just need to change my shirt,” he said to her as she sat on his bed.

She nodded and looked over at Finn. “Hello, Finn. Are you looking forward to tonight?”

“Not really,” he replied, laughing nervously. “Just a sec,” he added before turning his attention back to his phone. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Have fun,” Rae said to him, though she was a little disappointed that he had to leave.

“Finn,” Spencer said as he pulled on a new shirt, “you’d better start thinking of which song you’re going to sing.”

“I’m not going to sing anything,” said Finn. “I’m just there for moral support.”

“I don’t think that’s gonna fly, guy.”

***

“I still can’t believe you got me to sing in front of humans,” Finn said as he followed Spencer back to their room.

“I can believe it after how much you had to drink,” Spencer replied. “Seriously, you are a tank.”

Finn laughed. It was the first time in his life he was happy-drunk instead of angry-drunk, and he quite liked it. Though he was finding it difficult to stay upright, as the floor kept trying to meet his face with every step he took.

“I’m so tired,” he said when they got to their door, resting his forehead on the back of Spencer’s shoulder because he couldn’t hold his head up any longer.

Spencer laughed, too, as he unlocked their door and held it open for Finn, who went in and flopped down on the first bed he found.

“That one’s mine,” said Spencer, still laughing.

“Your sheets are so much softer,” Finn said as he nuzzled his face into the pillow.

“It’s called having a decent thread-count,” Spencer replied, and took a seat on the side of his bed. “Look it up.”

“Ugh, my clothes are so itchy,” Finn mumbled, trying to wrangle himself out of his plaid shirt.

“Hey,” said Spencer, putting a hand on Finn’s arm to keep him from flailing, “maybe you should go to sleep. In your bed.”

Finn rolled around onto his back. “But it’s nice here.”

“I know,” Spencer said, lying down on his back next to Finn and patting him on the side of his leg patronizingly.

“Will you show me where to buy sheets like this?” Finn asked.

“Tomorrow,” said Spencer. He turned onto his side to face Finn and smiled. “You’re very cute, you know,” he added as he adjusted the front of Finn’s hair.

Finn laughed again. “No…”

He looked over at Spencer, who was staring at him. Before he even knew what was coming, Spencer kissed him. Just briefly.

They stared at each other for another moment before Spencer went to kiss him again, but Finn pulled his head away.

“I have a girlfriend,” he blurted.

“Really?” said Spencer. “I thought you were lying about that.”

“Why would I lie about that?”

“So people wouldn’t think that you’re gay,” he said, like it should have been obvious.

“I’m not gay,” said Finn, though he wasn’t offended by the implication.

“I know a lot of guys who are ‘not gay’ when they’re sober, too, so…” said Spencer.

“I’m just not. Full stop.”

“Okay, sorry,” he said. “I misunderstood.”

“I’d… better go sleep in my own rough sheets, though,” Finn added as he sat up and scooted himself off the end of the bed.

“You’re not… mad at me, are you?” Spencer asked.

“Course not,” Finn said, without looking at his roommate as he climbed into his own bed. “It was an honest mistake, right?”

***

“You kissed someone?” said Rae.

“Accidentally!” Finn replied. “I said I ‘accidentally’ kissed someone.”

“What does that mean?” She was so shocked that she hadn’t even reached anger yet—though she could feel it coming.

“It means I was really drunk last night,” he explained, “and I didn’t mean for it to happen, but he just kissed me, and then—”

“He?” she interrupted. “You kissed a guy?”

“Yes, but—”

“Oh my god…”

He could hear the gears turning in her head and tried to stop her. “No, I’m—”

“Oh my god!” she said. “How could I have been so stupid? I mean, everything makes so much more sense now!”

“I’m not gay—” he tried to chime in, but she kept cutting him off.

“This is why you can’t sleep with me,” she continued. “I can’t believe I didn’t see it.”

“That’s not why. I’m not gay!”

“It’s okay, Finn. I’m not angry at you for lying; I get that you must have been confused—”

“Would you just listen to me for one second?” he snapped. “After last night, I can definitively say that I am not gay; or, at the very least, that I don’t want to kiss anyone but you.”

“Are you sure?”

“One hundred and eleven percent sure.”

“And eleven?” she asked, mildly amused.

“It’s one more that a hundred and ten percent,” he said. He hoped that humour would help diffuse the situation at hand.

“All right,” she finally replied, relaxing her shoulders a bit. “I believe you. And this was your roommate, I presume?”

“Yeah.”

“Is that weird now?”

“A little, I guess,” said Finn, slumping down onto his back. “We haven’t mentioned it, so I’m kind of hoping we’ll just pretend it didn’t happen.”

“So…” Rae added after a minute. “Is he hot?”

“What?”

“Your roommate.”

“Why?”

“I’m just curious,” she replied, shifting herself onto her back as well.

“How should I know?” he said. “He looks like a guy.”

“I dunno, I can tell when girls are attractive.”

“He looks kind of like that guy who plays Captain America, but less muscly,” he added. “If that helps.”

“Wow,” she said. “That sounds like he’s probably hot.”

“Okay. Why does this matter? You’re not his type. And you’re taken.”

She laughed a little. “You know the stereotype about how straight guys are really into seeing two hot girls making out?” she said.

“So I’ve heard…” he said slowly, not sure where she was going with this.

“Well, some girls are the same way about guys.”

“Really?”

“Pretty much. So, while I’m officially not happy about you kissing other people,” she added, “it is kind of a turn on to think about you making out with another hot guy.”

“We didn’t _make out_ ,” he said, brushing past the part where she implicitly referred to him as a hot guy because he couldn’t deal with that yet. “It was one little kiss.”

“Not in my head, it’s not.”

“Jeez.”

“I mean, technically, I appreciate that you weren’t into it, you know, for the sake of our relationship, but there’s no harm in me imagining it, right?” she said with a laugh.

“And here I thought I was the weird one…”

“Neither of us is _weird_ , we just like what we like and that’s fine.”

“I don’t even know what I like,” he said as he squinted at the water stains on the ceiling again. “I don’t think I’m like most guys; I’ve only ever been attracted to one person.”

“I hope you’re talking about me,” she said with a laugh.

“Yes, I’m talking about you,” he said. “But other guys I talk to, they’re always saying all this stuff they’d like to do to pretty much every girl they see, and I’m not like that at all.”

“That’s okay,” she said. “I like that you’re not like that.”

“Yeah, until we try to do anything and I’m useless.”

“You’re far from useless, Finn. Maybe you’re just…”

“Just what?”

“Asexual?”

“I don’t think so,” he said. “I still feel, like… sexual attraction,” he added, mumbling the last part. “Just not, you know, _a lot_.”

“Demisexual, then?” she suggested.

“What… is that?”

“It’s somewhere on the spectrum between sexual and asexual. It’s like selective sexuality, I guess.”

“I don’t know…”

“It’s okay,” she said. “You don’t have to put a word on it if you don’t want to. You do you.”

He chuckled a little. “Okay, then.”

“In other news,” she continued, putting her free hand behind her head. “I’ve decided to take your advice and try to befriend the new girl.”

“How’re you planning to do that?” he asked.

“I invited her and her friends to a party at Chloe’s this weekend,” she said. “If nothing else, it shows her that I can be the bigger person, both literally and figuratively.”

***

“Rae…” said Chloe. “You’ll never guess who just walked into my party; Satan’s daughter.”

Rae took a sip of her drink. “Bex? Yeah, I invited her.”

“Okay, but did you see who she brought with her?”

“Who?” she asked, craning her neck to look past Chloe until she saw what her friend was talking about. “No!”

Sure enough, Bex had just walked in, with none other than Rae’s ex, Shane, on her arm.

“What the fuck is she thinking?” said Rae. “If she’s trying to make me jealous, that is completely the wrong tactic.”

“Maybe she just likes him?” Chloe suggested.

“How did they even meet, anyway?”

“I dunno, but her brother was on the football team with Shane last year, so maybe that’s how.”

Rae gave Chloe a confused expression. “And how do you know all this stuff about her?”

Chloe shrugged. “People talk. And if you weren’t so busy chatting to your absentee boyfriend every night and actually hung out with people, maybe you’d hear some of it, too.”

“I’m here now, aren’t I?” said Rae. She glanced past Chloe again and waved her hand around like she was trying to shut her up, even though she wasn’t saying anything. “Shit, she’s coming this way. Pretend like we didn’t notice her!”

“Why?”

“I don’t know!”

“Hey, manatee,” said Bex when she reached the other two girls. “Thanks for inviting me tonight.”

“I’d believe your thanks was more sincere if you didn’t call me ‘manatee’ first,” Rae replied.

Bex smirked. “I believe you know my boyfriend, right?”

Rae forced a tight smile. “Good to see you, Shane,” she said. “How’s life?”

“Not too bad,” he said, smirking as well.

“Okay… Well, I’m just gonna…” Rae began, gesturing towards the other room so she could extricate herself from the conversation.

“Wait, Rae, I wanted to say something to you,” said Bex, calling Rae by her proper name for the first time ever. “Privately.” She looked at Shane and motioned with her head to tell him to get lost, and then turned her attention to Chloe.

“I’ll just let you two talk,” said Chloe before leaving.

“What do you want?” Rae asked Bex once they were alone.

“What I want,” Bex said slowly, “is to take you down.”

“Excuse me?”

“I want you out of the picture,” she said. “I don’t want to see your face at another party, or near my lunch table, or anywhere, for that matter. I want you to become _nobody_.”

Rae scoffed. “Okay, well, don’t expect that to happen any time soon.”

“I thought you might say that, so I have something that might incentivize you,” said Bex, smiling innocently.

“And what might that be?”

Bex looked down at her fingernails with an air of superiority. “You recall a set of photos that you sent to a certain boyfriend of yours just over a year ago, do you not?”

Rae’s eyes widened in horror. “He said he deleted those!”

“And he did delete most of them,” said Bex. “He just kept a couple, you know, for insurance purposes. In case he ever needed them.”

“What’s he going to do with them?” Rae asked, folding her arms across her chest. “It’s not like he can distribute them. I was sixteen!”

“Well, obviously he’s not going to distribute them from his _own_ computer or anything like that,” Bex replied. “He’s not stupid.”

“Could have fooled me.”

“Now, I’m assuming you don’t want everyone at school seeing these photos, correct?”

Rae exhaled loudly. “I don’t care, honestly.”

“You know, my brother was friends last year with your current boyfriend…” Bex added offhandedly. “Finn, is it?”

“Don’t you dare involve him in this,” said Rae.

“Just, he might be curious as to what sort of things you were up to before you started dating him, no?”

“I said, don’t—”

“Relax, I won’t let anyone see the photos,” said Bex. “As long as you do what I say for the rest of the school year.”

“So you’re blackmailing me?”

“ _Blackmail_ is such an ugly word…” she said. “I’m _persuading_ you.”

“I could just tell the police,” said Rae.

Bex cocked her head to one side. “You mean the same police that Shane’s dad works for?”

“Fine, you know what?” Rae said as she dropped her arms by her sides and clenched her hands into fists. “You can have your parties and your table and whatever the fuck else you want because I don’t give a shit about those things.”

This was only partially true.

But Rae had been spending less and less time at parties and visiting with friends since Finn moved away anyhow. Nearly all her free time was spent talking to him, so would it really be that much of a sacrifice to give up those things?

Bex smiled again, as if they’d just been having a pleasant conversation. “Good. Enjoy the rest of this party, then, manatee,” she said. “It’ll be your last.”

***

“How’d your plan go last night?” Finn asked Rae the next day.

“What plan?” she replied.

“Your plan to befriend that horrible girl,” he said. “Did she come to Chloe’s party?”

“She did, and it was… fine,” said Rae, not wanting to tell him the whole truth. She figured there was no need for him to ever know about any of that business. “We’re not best mates or anything, but we’ve agreed to be civil.”

“That’s good.”

“Yeah…”

“Well,” he added, figuring it would be a good time to change the subject since Rae didn’t seem very talkative, “my term break is coming up soon, so I thought I would come home for the week.”

“Really?” she asked eagerly.

“I mean, if you want me to…” He smiled at his computer screen.

Rae shrugged, feigning disinterest.

“I do have other offers, you know,” he said. “I got an invite to spend the week in France with Spencer and Amélie.”

“You wouldn’t!”

“So that means you do want me to come back, I suppose.”

“Yes!” she said at last. “Get your cute bum back over here ASAP!”

***

School felt different for Rae after her little chat with Bex at the party. People were less friendly with her; almost no one said hello to her in the corridors on her way to class. It was as if everyone had decided overnight not to talk to her anymore.

At lunch time, she saw Chloe sitting at their usual table, so she went up to her to tell her that they had to move.

“I’m staying here,” Chloe said nervously.

“I don’t feel like arguing with Bex over a table today,” said Rae, “so can we just—”

“No, I mean I’m staying here to sit with Bex and her friends,” Chloe clarified. “I told her I would save the table for her.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Look, Rae, I’m sorry, but I can’t be seen talking to you right now.”

Rae frowned at her supposed friend. “Is she blackmailing you, too?”

“What?” said Chloe, obviously having no clue what Rae was talking about.

“Never mind. I’ll just leave, then.”

“I think that would be best for everyone.”

“Can I just ask,” Rae added, “why are you doing this? What is going on?”

Chloe looked around like she was making sure no one could hear their conversation. “Bex is having an epic party in a couple of weeks, and it is going to be the must-attend social event of the year. Anyone who isn’t there is a nobody, you understand?”

“Not at all. What does this have to do with you ditching me?”

“Well,” Chloe explained, “Bex said that anyone caught talking to you, specifically, would not be invited.”

“So you’d rather avoid me than get uninvited to some stupid party?” said Rae.

“I’m sorry! I have no choice! I can’t become a nobody, can I?”

“You know what, Chloe, if you don’t have the backbone to stand up for your friends, then you are nobody.”

***

“Are people still not talking to you?” Finn asked Rae over the phone.

“Pretty much,” she replied. “Izzy still talks to me, of course, but she was never into that scene, you know?”

“I don’t understand how this girl can be so influential after only a few weeks,” he said. “Why is this party such a big deal, even?”

“It’s going to be the biggest party in Lincolnshire,” said Rae. “There’s going to be a real DJ, and there are rumours of a celebrity guest of some sort.”

“You almost sound like you want to go.”

“I don’t want to go, I just want people to talk to me again.”

“They will. Things will blow over after the party and everything will go back to normal once she can’t hold it over them anymore,” he said.

“I guess… What time does your train get in tomorrow?” she asked, hoping to change the subject.

“Just after two,” he answered. “Are you gonna meet me at the railway station? It would be nice to see your face after nearly seven hours of travel.”

“Of course I will,” she said. “It’ll be nice to see your face after nearly seven _weeks_ without seeing it.”

“You’ve seen it on Skype.”

“Fine, seven weeks without _smelling_ your face, then.”

“What?” he said with a laugh.

“Your face smells good.”

“Does it?”

“It smells like you.”

“I wouldn’t think that’d be a good thing, but all right.”

“You know, I’ve been thinking about something lately,” she added. “It’s just, I need to consider what university I might like to go to next year, right?”

“And thinking about my scent reminded you of this?” he said.

“Well, see, what if I went to uni with you?” she said. “Then I could smell you every day, right?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said after a pause.

“What? Why not?”

“You should go where you want to go, not where I am.”

“But I want to go where you are!”

“That’s not necessarily what’s best for you, though.”

“What… are you saying?” she asked. “You mean you want to live like this for the next few _years_? Talking on the phone and over Skype, only seeing each other in person every couple of months?”

“We can be together in the summers,” he said.

“That’s not enough for me, Finn.”

“Look, I can’t stand to be the reason that you’re miserable, and if you go somewhere that’s not just for you, then you’ll be miserable.”

“No, I won’t!”

“Rae, please,” he said. “We’ve been doing fine the past few weeks; we can keep this up, can’t we?”

“I don’t think we can.”

***

Rae didn’t meet Finn at the railway station after all, but he wasn’t expecting her to by that point. The way they had ended their last conversation, he figured she probably didn’t want to talk to him for a while.

She had considered going with his dad to pick him up, though, as was originally planned, but she wasn’t sure she could face him after what had happened. Not after she’d hung up on him.

She wasn’t entirely sure why she did it. She knew, rationally, that he made a good point and wasn’t just trying to get rid of her, but it still made her feel like she was unwanted.

Just as she was contemplating calling him—she figured he’d be in town by now—there was a knock at the front door. She was a little surprised to find that it was Finn, though he was one of the only people that would even speak to her anymore. But she was sort of expecting the silent treatment from him, as well, after what she had done.

“You didn’t come to the station,” he said seriously, pushing past her so he could enter the house.

“I didn’t know you still wanted me to,” she said as she shut the door behind him.

He turned to look at her and frowned. “Of course I wanted you to. I haven’t seen you IRL for over a month!”

Rae tried not to laugh—she’d never heard anyone say “IRL” so seriously. Finn was trying not to laugh, too, once he heard what he’d said.

“Look,” he continued, attempting to retain his composure, “I get why you were upset with me, but I still think that what I said was valid. You should choose the school that’s best for you, and we’ll make it work.”

“I know, it’s just, it’s been really difficult the past few weeks,” she said. “What with you being away and everyone at school turning on me. It’s like I have no one.”

“Well, wherever you go to uni, there won’t be so much petty drama to contend with,” he said. “So that will make it easier. You’ll make new friends.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Hey, if I can make friends, then you can easily make friends.”

“I guess…”

“Speaking of your current situation, though, I thought I should tell you,” he added hesitantly. “I sort of got invited to that big party tonight.”

“What? Why?”

“I was friends with that girl’s brother last year, so he sort of invited me on her behalf, I suppose.”

“But why would she invite you?”

“Probably just to get on your nerves.”

“Are you thinking of going?” she asked.

“No, definitely not,” he said. “I have no interest in spending the entire day on a train only to ditch you for some stupid party. I’m too old for that shit.”

“Just because you have friends who are twenty, you think you’re so mature,” she teased.

“Well, I am,” he said with a smirk. “And you will be, too, next year.”

“Are you calling me immature?” she said, poking him in the side.

“No, but the drama with Chloe and Bix—”

“Bex.”

“—is pretty juvenile, don’t you think?”

Rae sighed. “Yes, I do think. But I don’t know how to not let it bug me when everyone at school hates me, or at least they like cool parties more than they like me.”

“I’ve got an idea that might take your mind off of it for a little while…” said Finn, backing up towards the staircase.

***

“This was a good idea,” said Rae, letting her e-reader rest on her stomach.

Finn looked up at her from his seat in her bean bag chair and smiled. “Yeah, it’s kind of nice getting back to normal, isn’t it?”

She quickly sat up and reached over so she could ruffle his hair when he returned his attention to his book.

“Hey, quit it,” he said, letting go of his book with one hand to smooth out his hair again.

She climbed off the bed and sat on the floor next to him. “I have sort of an evil idea,” she said as she grabbed his book.

“To steal my book away?” he said.

“No, I just thought of a way to stir up some petty drama,” she said. “Though I’d need your help, even though you’re way too mature for this sort of thing.”

“What’s your idea?” he asked hesitantly.

“Well, you were invited to Bex’s party, right? So that means you know where it is and you know the password to get in, yeah?”

“Yeah…”

“So…” she said, a grin slowly spreading across her face. “What if we crash it?”


End file.
